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Young Writers Society



Lost in the precipice.

by Black Wind


He went through the dark bridge, above precipice
And he didn't lift his eyes.
All people, with whom he began the way
Had fallen to precipice, they went away.
Through decrepit bridge, made many years ago,
He already cannot go.
The voices call him from precipice,
But in night silence somebody cries:

Chorus:
Oh, please, listen, what I say!
Above the bridge continue the way.
Then in the battle you will win!
In that precipice wicked animals live,
It seems, that such life is better, but don't believe!
Fight with your power, you have within!

But he didn't heard it, although voice was loud.
He gave up right now.
The fiery chariot rolled by,
The clouds suddenly hide the light.

And the wind becomes stronger,
He can go no longer,
And he slides off the brink
He holds on to bridge's chain's link.

I ask you, take my hand,
It is not the end,
But he unclasped his hand
And fell into darkness.

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User avatar
16 Reviews

Points: 1248
Reviews: 16

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Sat May 23, 2009 10:47 am
Black Wind says...



Thank you!
The end of this story is not so bad as it seems. :)
The song has allegoric meaning. It's song about the person, who goes by wrong way. He succumbed to influence of the Crowd. I wrote this song, when person, who is known for me, ''fell''.
The end of the story is not so bad, because this person can go out of that precipice. There is a hope for his return . But there is one question: will the person understend, that he he goes by wrong way, and it is not good for him? And will he have as much of power as he need?
So, story can be continued, but we don't know, how it can be continued...




User avatar
9 Reviews

Points: 890
Reviews: 9

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Mon May 18, 2009 8:32 pm
auraennalle wrote a review...



This is kind of sad. I always like happy endings, but this one is good anyway. It's moving. A little confusing, but I understand you are translating from another language, right? Even so, your descriptions paint a picture of a dark place that is both figurative and literal in many different ways. It inspires thought, and that, I believe, is what truly makes a good piece of art, be it literature, music, painting, etc. Keep up the good work.





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